A Fail Shark Article
How To: Get Royally ScrewedBy: Ace Commander on 2/21/09
During my freshmen year in college I had the wonderful opportunity of crashing someone else's car. This was of course not my intention, nor did I "crash" the car. One thing's for sure, I had to pay for the damn thing. All $2,500 of this '96 piece of shit Ford Taurus- that had peanut butter smeared in the tape player, dents on all four door panels, and it wreaked of gym clothes emanating death.
After getting on the road, I end up missing a turn so I needed to turn around. I figure that I should turn the car around soon as there are no cars in either direction. I proceed to make a wide turn, Aw shit, stuck. The outside wheel on the passenger side got stuck in about 2" of snow. We tried to push the car out, but just beyond the 2" was about 5 feet of powder. In an attempt to get the car out, it became even more stuck. We end up waiting for a good 15-20mins, and we see a huge dump truck approaching us. I waive him down to see if he could get us out. This really shouldn’t have been a big problem, but I became suspicious when I saw that he was missing most of his teeth and couldn’t speak a lick of english. He clipped a metal chain onto the axel of the car. Starts up the big rig, and rips us right out of the snow that had caused our delay. We thanked him, and he went on his way. As I start driving, I immediately felt the car spinning out. We pull over, and figure out that the car is broken. The truck driver pulled us out so hard he ripped the axel out of the back of the car. Regardless of a broken axel, we get in the car and start driving again. I drive for a good 15 minutes, then slide off the road once again. Stuck in the snow, we crank the heat and wait for someone to pass us. Luckily for us we get picked up by this nice lady and driven back to school. It turned out that my train was delayed an extra couple of hours, and I managed to get a ride by that time.
The worst was yet to come. I really didn’t do much to deserve what was going to happen, but it came at me fast, with vengeance. I get to school, and my mom calls me in tears. She says that there is a warrant out for my arrest and that I have to go to jail. Apparently the owner of the worthless, piece of shit, battered and bruised car pressed charges on me for "Driving without consent". This was straight bullshit, I asked her to her face and she directly handed me the keys. She forces me to drive back to East Bumfuck and I get arrested. I have to pay out the ass in order to hire a lawyer to defend myself, and both of my parents had to take a few days off from work. Then on top of that, I have to pay for the clunker of a car, at retail value. If I had taken a picture of the car it would have been hard to sell it for a penny more than $50. There were scratches, broken mirrors, loose door panels, cracks in the windshield, no wipers, and it had multiple Bob Dole bumper stickers for some odd reason. I became livid, and my parents scolded me. I ended up having to pay 100% of the money straight from my back pocket. As a freshmen, I didn’t have a great job and this was all of the money that I had saved from working. All down the drain in one of the worst disasters of my life. All I can say is, wow, I failed like a redneck taking his SAT’s.
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